Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
