You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
