He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
