Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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