You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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