Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize