He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
