we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sobbing to NWA
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
