Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
