Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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