No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We left the knife in your bed.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
