seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
