She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The power of my boobs compel you
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
