Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
