2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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