is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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