I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
