On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
