? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
