so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
