Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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