I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
