thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
