I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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