I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am one with the molecules
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
