Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
