the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize