What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
