Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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