I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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