Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
