Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
