You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
