yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
