Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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