i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize