Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize