i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
