guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
