I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my shit smells like andre
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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