Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
