It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
