We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
