I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
