He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Vodka?
Forever.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
