By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
