I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I know her cup size but not her name....
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