I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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