My first STD was from a foam party
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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