Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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