so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
false alarm, still single
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
