finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
