And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
