Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't deserve a penis
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
