Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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