Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
