proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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