Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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