you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
God I need to hump something, right now.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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