So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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