Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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