my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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