dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize