i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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