Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
