the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
