When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
