Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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