dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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