Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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