I met the friendliest cop last night
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
