you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
