True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
