i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
