I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
