they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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