just tell him i said nine months
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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